I joined Facebook eight or nine years ago and it was fun.  I posted pictures of my family, cute little anecdotes, and enjoyed looking at friends’ pictures etc.

My favorite thing about Facebook was reconnecting with old friends.

I have rekindled friendships with people I may have never gotten the chance to if it weren’t for Facebook. I love that! And who doesn’t love a Facebook birthday? It really is nice to hear from so many people. When Howie passed away, Facebook really did serve such a purpose. I know a lot of people found out about his death through Facebook, and it was a way that so many reached out to me, which was so nice.

I am not going to sit here and bash Facebook or say I don’t pay attention to it or that it’s ridiculous. It’s not.

It is part of our world now and for the most part I do enjoy it. I don’t post all that much but I do admit to being somewhat of a silent stalker. Sometimes I like to check out what people are doing – it is interesting. Occasionally if I have something I would really like to share, I will post it. And honestly, it has been the best way to launch this blog.  I wouldn’t have most of the readers that I do if it weren’t for Facebook (a little self promotion – hint – if you would like to share my page or blog I would be thrilled. 

I do have some pet peeves about Facebook in general, but this is just me.  I don’t get it sometimes. Why do people need to “check in” every time they leave their house?  Does the whole world need to know where you are every minute of the day?  And why 100 pictures or videos of every “event” that you or your child attend? Does anyone really look at all of them?  I once watched a comedian do a whole bit on the fact that no one is really looking at your albums and videos. It was hysterical! And one more thing – there is nothing worse than someone’s constant negative thoughts – ugh. But to each their own and as long as it is not harming anyone –  it is what it is – just a part of Facebook and it’s all good.

For a person in a bad place in their life, Facebook can be depressing.

When you are unhappy with the circumstances of your life, or going through a tragedy or just a hard time, it can be difficult to see everyone around you posting how deliriously happy they are all the time.

It can make you feel very alone – like you are the only one whose life is sad or difficult. I am sure it is not anyone’s intention to be hurtful.  I don’t think anyone even realizes that constantly posting their happiness might possibly make someone else feel bad. I am guilty of doing it myself sometimes.

It can be upsetting to some, including myself when I was having a particularly hard day (or week, or month). I know there is always the option not to look – and I have chosen that option often. I won’t even open Facebook up on a day like Father’s Day. The pictures and posts are way too hard to see. What is especially bothersome are those who declare on a holiday that they know how difficult it is for some and feel for them, but an hour later post a picture and announce how happy and loved they themselves are. Actions speak louder than words.

I am not at all suggesting that my friends or anyone’s stop posting their happiness. I am truly happy for everyone in my life when they are happy, as I know they are for me. My goal with this post is to hopefully help those who are in an unhappy situation and may find Facebook depressing. You are not the only one. I’ve been there and sometimes still am. And I’m pretty sure so many others have been also.

Facebook can be fabulous and fun, but sometimes not for everyone.

Stacy Feintuch

Stacy was a stay-at-home mom/part-time preschool teacher whose life was turned upside down in 2011 when her husband passed away suddenly of a heart attack.  She is raising her two fabulous daughters, now ages 18 and 20, who are turning into wonderful young women.  In 2016, she started a blog about her experience as a young widow, The Widow Wears Pink. This led her to write for other publications including Huffington Post, Today.com, Scary Mommy, Grown & Flown, Kveller, Modern Loss, Thought Catalog, and many more. In 2018 she started Living the Second Act with fellow writer Mimi Golub. Today, Stacy and her daughters  are happily living their “new normal” while always keeping her husband’s spirit alive.