The other day I told Lily that I was going to yoga class. She looked at me and said “Mom, are you having a mid-life crisis?”.
My first response was laughter. Then I asked her why she thought that. Her response was “All of a sudden you are writing a blog and doing yoga – it seems like you’re having a mid-life crisis.” and then she said “What is a mid-life crisis anyway?” while also adding, “By the way, some of my friends told me they love reading your blog!”.
So many thoughts ran through my head that I didn’t know what to say. But first I had to stop laughing.
First of all, I absolutely love that her friends are reading my blog – and that they like it! I’m so glad that I am not embarrassing her or Amanda. There is nothing worse than an embarassing mother. I am happy that I am not Beverly Goldberg.
Now to the mid-life crisis comment. I think it’s funny that she thinks I’m having one but isn’t sure what one is.
I googled the definition – “an emotional crisis of identity and self-confidence that can occur in early middle age”.
Hmmmm I don’t think that’s me but who knows? I think I’m pretty self confident, but I’m definitely not any less so than I used to be. My age has not changed my confidence at all. Emotional crisis? I had plenty of emotional crises in the past few years – I do not think I am having one at the moment. So I do not believe I fit the actual definition.
The minute she used the term “mid-life crisis”, all I could imagine was a middle aged man with a bad toupe driving around in an expensive sports car that he probably can’t afford, trying to pick up 25 year old women. In my mind he is wearing a leisure suit and gold chains so I guess my mind is stuck in the 70’s!
Well that is certainly not me. Lily pointed to two things – yoga and my blog. She is correct, they are both very new things in my life that were not there a few months ago. The yoga is extremely new – I still don’t know if it will become “my thing” or if I will even stick with it (I’m hoping to but who knows). This blog was truly an impulse. I thought about doing it one day and 24 hours later had it set up and wrote my first blog post. It turns out I really enjoy doing it.
Both of these things I would consider out of my comfort zone.
I have never ever written before, although it sometimes has been in the back of my mind to write a book about my crazy life. And the yoga is actually extremely out of my comfort zone. I can barely walk in a straight line without falling.
I turned 50 and tried two brand new things. So maybe it is a bit of a mid-life crisis – but if it is it’s a good one. Better than doing drugs or taking off to live on an island somewhere by myself (believe me – I have considered the island more than a few times!).
Then again, there is a good chance I would never have done either of these things if Howie was still alive. I often wonder what he would think of all this. So maybe it’s not a mid-life crisis – but more of a mid-widow crisis :).
Stacy was a stay-at-home mom/part-time preschool teacher whose life was turned upside down in 2011 when her husband passed away suddenly of a heart attack. She is raising her two fabulous daughters, now ages 18 and 20, who are turning into wonderful young women. In 2016, she started a blog about her experience as a young widow, The Widow Wears Pink. This led her to write for other publications including Huffington Post, Today.com, Scary Mommy, Grown & Flown, Kveller, Modern Loss, Thought Catalog, and many more. In 2018 she started Living the Second Act with fellow writer Mimi Golub. Today, Stacy and her daughters are happily living their “new normal” while always keeping her husband’s spirit alive.
