Guys – you never get a second chance to make a first impression.
I have been on way more first dates than I care to admit. What you guys should know is that we are mentally taking notes on EVERYTHING you do (or don’t do.) I have been on many dates where I walked in and my first thought was JACKPOT, but by the end of the date I am pretending to get a text from my kids telling me that the house is on fire. (I wouldn’t have minded if it actually was as long as I was able to get out of there.) Since you are always asking what a girl wants, here are some tips on how to make a good first date impression. If you think that your good looks are all you need… read on.
- Once you have secured a date, leave it alone. Do not text excessively. You don’t know this girl yet. Send a brief text the day before or the day of, confirming the date.
- Be on time. In fact, be early. If you are traveling far, make sure to leave yourself enough time to hit traffic and still be a few minutes early. When you do arrive, text her and let her know that you are there and where she can find you (walking into a bar or Starbucks and picking out a stranger based on a picture is not always an easy task.)
- Be nice to and engage the waiters, waitresses, bartenders, baristas, hostesses, busboys, and anyone else you may come in contact with. This says a lot about your character and how you interact with people.
- Dress neat. Styles today are very casual. Jeans and sneakers are fine, but NOT gym sneakers, cargo shorts and an old ratty t- shirt. Put your best foot forward and dress like you are going on a date, not meeting your friend at a baseball game. A jacket isn’t necessary but a nice t-shirt or button-down shirt and jeans is perfect.
- Do not talk about money! Don’t talk about money struggles OR how successful you are. We don’t want to hear you complain about how much you just spent on your kids dance lessons or how much you are spending on your new sports car. Whether you have money or not, keep it to yourself.
- Meet for just a drink on a first date. Once there, it is always nice when my date asks if I’m hungry and would like something to eat. It doesn’t have to be dinner, but you can split an appetizer. The thought is there and it is appreciated whether or not we actually order.
- Don’t talk about your Ex and never ever bash her. Lie if you must, but say something positive about your ex-partner and then move onto something else. Do not go on a tangent about what a raging bitch she is. No one wants to hear that and it makes me wonder what you may have done to make her act that way.
- Limit the conversation about your kids. Of course we all love our kids. The subject usually comes up, but it’s very hard to get to know someone when the conversation turns to their kid’s soccer history from kindergarten to ninth grade. We don’t know your kids and we don’t care (yet.) Sorry!!
- Be confident. This should begin before the date even starts. Pick a place that is convenient for your date. Ask for a specific day and time. If it doesn’t work for her, she will say so. No one likes a guy that can’t make a decision. Once she arrives, ask her what she likes to drink and order it for her, whether it’s coffee or a martini. Although girls don’t like a guy that is controlling, they do like a guy to take control.
- Be positive. Fake it if you have to. When someone asks you how your day was, the response should always be “great.” It is really a rhetorical question. I’m not looking to be anyone’s therapist. Leave the complaining home on the first date and be positive. We ultimately want to be with someone who is happy.
- If the girl offers to pay, please say no. Also, do not pay the check and ask her to leave the tip. Are you kidding me?? Pay the ENTIRE bill, INCLUDING the tip!! Just pay the damn bill!! I’d prefer to pay the whole thing myself rather than just leave the tip. You think you are being a mensch by paying the bulk but the cheapness for the last 20 percent is all that I will remember.
- After you pay, (I am assuming you know you should pay) ask her for her valet ticket (if she valeted her car.) Your $3 tip will go a long way. I always notice if a guy does or doesn’t do this on a date. Not a deal breaker but when he does, it shows that he is thoughtful. If there is no valet, walk her to her car. Doesn’t matter if you like her or not, just make sure she gets to her car safely.
These tips do not only apply if you are interested in a second date. Keep in mind that it’s a small world. One day you may want to date one of her friends or do business with her or someone she may know. Leave us with a positive experience. Girls WILL talk about the guys they have dated and the experiences they had with them. Make it a good one!
Girls…I haven’t forgotten about you… Stay tuned..
Wendy works as a marketing analyst for a commercial real estate firm. She is a divorced mom of two teenage daughters, who is soon to be an empty nester as her younger daughter goes off to college. After sharing all of her crazy dating experiences with her friends over the years, they have finally convinced her to write them down and share them with the world. Wendy believes one day she will find her perfect match and is enjoying the crazy ride until then.