Huron Lake, PA (July 28, 2018) – Parents Julie and Marc Birnbaum of Merrick, Long Island have reported their son Jake missing after realizing he was notably absent from a group picture posted on the Camp Huron Lake website. Seeing him in July 19 Boys Side photo #147 with a few of his bunkmates then noticing that he was missing in photo #149, which contained several of the same boys, sent a huge red flag to the parents who immediately called the Huron Lake Police Department (HLPD) to check on Jake’s whereabouts. While most reports require a full twenty-four hours before a person is truly considered “missing” the HLPD has received dozens of calls each summer since the camp started posting pictures on a nightly basis.
Mr. Birnbaum, 45, has a spectacularly keen eye when it comes to finding his children in camp photos. Even after a long day of work at 11 pm when the pictures are usually loaded to the website, Marc can spot his child from seemingly miles away. But last night after seeing Jake with his arms around Seth Weinberg and Josh Steinman during a break from what looked like a basketball game, he clicked past a picture of a reluctantly smiling boy sitting on the bleachers, then got the shock of his life when picture #149 contained Weinberg and Steinman but not his son.
“As a parent you always expect the unexpected. But nothing could have possibly prepared me for the absolutely harrowing ordeal I was put through last night,” explained Marc. “He was there in one picture smiling, although it looks like it may have been a forced smile or that he was clinching his teeth…probably just my mind playing tricks on me. Then two pictures later…POOF…he’s nowhere to be found.”
Mrs. Birnbaum thought she spotted Jake’s left sneaker way in the background of photo #148 but further investigation uncovered that it was just a candy wrapper from a frozen Charleston Chew candy bar. She has ruled out the possibility of Jake getting a drink of water because he knows to properly hydrate before and after athletic activities. The only other explanations that were even plausible to her were that Jake shattered his ankle trying to touch the bottom of the basketball net, Jake was abducted by townies since he is the most handsome boy on the face of the earth, or Jake’s friends all dropped him in the twenty seconds between photos #147 and #149 because they are jealous that he was Camper of the Week for Week 6 of last summer.
Police have not yet gotten involved in the mysterious disappearance, but local camp sources confirm that at press time, Jake was safely sleeping in his bunk and was not in photo #149 because he was either talking to a female camper who he has a crush on or, more likely his counselor revealed, he was running to the canteen bathroom to relieve himself of yesterday’s kosher-style Mexican lunch fiesta.
Steven lives in Randolph, New Jersey with his wife and two teenage children. When he’s not working, he spends much of his time coaching or watching his children play sports. He went to sleepaway camp for a long time and is now living vicariously through his children who are now loving it as much as he did.
Steven enjoys making people laugh through his absurd take on summer camp.