Girls…this one is for you…

Guys aren’t the only ones who need to make a good first impression. I have heard so many stories about what girls do to turn men off. I thought most of this was common sense. Apparently, it is not. I’m putting this out there for anyone who cares to check themselves. Don’t kill the messenger :)…

  1. Do not text the guy excessively before a date. Let him set the pace. Wait for him to text and then respond. You haven’t even met yet, let him wonder a little.
  2. Let him be the one to ask you out. Guys like the chase. You may call this playing games. Call it whatever you want, just don’t ask him out. Wait for him to ask, he will!
  3. Do not connect with him on any social media before you meet him. Stalk him all you want, I actually encourage it, but do not send any friend requests. If you do stalk him (we are talking about online stalking) make sure not to let on that you have.
  4. Be positive. While texting before the date and while on the date, be positive. No need to complain about your kids, your job or your Ex. He doesn’t want to hear it.
  5. Don’t change your plans for a date. He wouldn’t. There are 6 other days in the week. Pick another day. He will actually appreciate that you have a full life.
  6. Have an opinion. If he asks you where you’d like to meet, give him a place. Do not say “whatever you want.” Guys like a girl who will speak up and who has an opinion.
  7. Be on time. Fashionably late is fine (5 minutes). Do not keep your date waiting more than that. It’s rude.
  8. Dress to impress, but wear what makes you the most comfortable. Be yourself and show your style. Don’t change your style to what you think he may like.
  9. Do not talk about money. Ask him about his job, but not how much he makes. Do not discuss how much you are getting or not getting from your Ex. The money topic can be discussed, but on a much later date.
  10. Do not FaceTime or sext him before the first date. Of course guys like these things and he will be a willing participant, but that is a way into his pants not his heart.
  11. Be nice to the waiters, waitresses, hostess, bartender, barista, busboy, patrons. Be nice and respectful to everyone. He will notice.
  12. Just because you had a nice date does NOT mean that you are in a relationship. Nothing scares a guy off more than a girl that comes on too strong.  Let him be the one to chase you. These days, guys (and girls) are dating multiple people. You need to stand out. If you are too accessible or come on too strong, he will move on to the next girl.
  13. Do not offer to pay on the first date. Make sure to thank him, whether it’s just coffee or dinner.  It’s fine to offer and to pay after a few dates but let him wine and dine you in the beginning. Chivalry isn’t dead and you are worth it.
  14. Do not lie about what you are looking for. If you are looking for a serious relationship, say so.  Don’t propose, but let him know that is what you are ultimately looking for. This way, if he isn’t on the same page, you can move on.
  15. Listen to what he is saying. If he is telling you he never wants to get married again, believe him. If you would like to get married, chances are it’s not going to be to him. And in two years when you are asking for a ring he is going to say, “I told you from the beginning I don’t want to get married.”
  16. Guys love a girl who is confident. Confidence is the most attractive attribute you can have. Just be yourself and your confidence will come shining through.
  17. If you had a nice time and would like to see him again, tell him! Guys are not mind readers. They want to hear what you are thinking. “I had a great time and would love to do this again” is a great way to let him know you are interested.

Whether or not you made a connection, always leave the date on a positive note. You never know when you will run into him again.  You might even realize that he is worth another try. 🙂

 

Wendy works as a marketing analyst for a commercial real estate firm. She is a divorced mom of two teenage daughters, who is soon to be an empty nester as her younger daughter goes off to college. After sharing all of her crazy dating experiences with her friends over the years, they have finally convinced her to write them down and share them with the world. Wendy believes one day she will find her perfect match and is enjoying the crazy ride until then.