1. How can I possibly be 52??
  2. 50 was one thing, but now I’m “in my fifties.”
  3. I am lucky to have two beautiful, happy (most of the time) and healthy daughters.
  4. I have been a widow for seven years – how is that possible?
  5. Didn’t I just graduate college?
  6. Didn’t I just graduate high school?
  7. I guess at some point I became an adult but I have no idea when.
  8. I will always cherish my marriage before my husband passed away.
  9. I have had the same group of friends since I was seven years old – 45 years!
  10. I have had the same group of friends since my oldest daughter was a baby – 19 years!
  11. I remember when I thought 30 was old.
  12. I have made many poor choices.
  13. I have made many great choices.
  14. In eight years I will be 60!
  15. At the present time I am happy with myself.
  16. I am lucky to be in a wonderful, happy, healthy relationship with a great guy.
  17. Ugh my metabolism has slowed down.
  18. I have a fabulous family even if they drive me crazy sometimes.
  19. I am not in my forties anymore.
  20. How old are you when you constantly talk about doctor appointments?
  21. Why am I telling everyone that I am 52?
  22. My daughter is almost 20.
  23. Is my hair getting thinner?
  24. Life can suck.
  25. Life can be amazing.
  26. I hope I did a good job with my daughters.
  27. I would like to travel more.
  28. I am happy to be home in my bed at night watching TV.
  29. My dog is one of the most important things in my world.
  30. When did I start to need a cup of coffee in the morning?
  31. I pray that my girls are not sitting in a therapist’s office some day complaining about me.
  32. It’s not the quantity of friends you have, it’s the quality.
  33. I cannot believe that I have become a writer.
  34. I have learned not to hold onto anger – the only person that hurts is me.
  35. I look back at the younger me and don’t know why I was so insecure.
  36. When did I get these wrinkles?
  37. I do not look as good in a bikini as I once did.
  38. How was I once able to stay out until 4 AM?
  39. I have actually heard myself start a sentence with “Kids today….”
  40. I am stronger in my fifties than I was in my forties.
  41. I’m kinda messy but I have learned to embrace it.
  42. I truly no longer care what people say about me.
  43. I have no idea how to use most features on my IPhone.
  44. When did it change from “pot” to “weed”?
  45. When did it change from “doing shots” to “taking shots”?
  46. How did I ever survive without GPS and a back-up camera?
  47. I hate winter – why do I live in NJ?
  48. Keratin has changed my life.
  49. I am now closer to 80 than I am to 20.
  50. I sometimes wonder if I had made one tiny decision differently, would my life be completely different?
  51. With all the bad crap you may go through, life can still look bright.
  52. How can I possibly be 52??

Stacy was a stay-at-home mom/part-time preschool teacher whose life was turned upside down in 2011 when her husband tragically passed away. After a few very difficult years, she started The Widow Wears Pink, a blog about her widow life.

Stacy has been published in Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, Her View From Home, Better After 50, Modern Loss, Grown & Flown,, Option B, Kveller, Mamalode, Sammiches & Psychmeds, and Thought Catalog. She is a contributor on Hope for Widows Foundation and freelances for Today.com. She is currently working on both her memoir and a fiction novel.