Relationships and shoes….
That euphoric feeling when you buy the perfect pair of new tulle, pointed toe, sparkly stiletto heels with their shiny red signature soles. You can taste the excitement. You are striding through the mall with your shopping bag proudly swinging on your arm, and you cannot wait to get home to strut around your apartment and gaze at your new purchase in the mirror before ultimately getting dressed in “the” perfect complementing outfit. These are the one pair of shoes that you have dreamt about for years and finally the planets have aligned and you now have them in your possession; what you have wished for, what you have longed for, and what you have loved, if only in your imagination until now. The fit is impeccable. The color and design are flawless. There is not one scuff mark, scratch or nick. They are extraordinary.
The first time you slip them on, you are not only beaming because you are wearing your “special” shoes, but also because of whom you are wearing them with, your “special” guy. The guy that you cannot wait to receive a text messages from. The guy you cannot wait to see and undress with your eyes. The guy who always leaves you smiling from ear to ear. The guy who continuously goes the extra mile, the guy who gives you the warm and fuzzies, the guy who makes you feel as if you’re the apple of his eye every minute of every day.
When you meet him in the lobby of your office building, he scans you up and down, taking in every stitch of your tailored dress that flatters your figure. His smile is already radiant and then he locks eyes on your shoes and his smile grows even bigger and brighter, as he knows how much those shoes mean to you, and just how long you’ve been dreaming of these shoes. For some, they might be just another pair of expensive shoes in a closet full of hundreds of similar pairs, but he knows that to you, they are one in a million and he knows what lengths you went through to sacrifice and save enough money to buy these beauties; and to that end, he smiles not only at you, but with you, for he understands the love you have poured into this purchase. He holds your hand as you exit the lobby and make your way to a nearby restaurant for a drink and dinner. Little did you know that this was just the prelude to one of the most amazing date nights you can remember – because on this date night, he kissed you for the first time… and it was one of those kisses you thought you only saw onscreen; the kiss that leaves you breathless and wanting more, the kiss that buckles your knees, the kiss that brings an instantaneous smile to your face while your brain is still trying to get past the WOW!
You have been friends for some time, so while the intimacy was new, the getting to know you relationship was not. He knew you better than most men you previously dated. He got to know you, the real you, you talked about a lot of “stuff” with him and there was never any pressure or fear of being judged. He was your friend and companion, and although it took you by surprise to say the least, the intimacy that followed was a natural next step. Lust was not what lead this relationship, it was a mutual respect, friendship and love for each other.
Fast forward a few months and you have now worn those same shoes more times than you can count. They were your date shoes, your girl’s night out shoes, and your business function shoes. Frankly, they were your just about everything shoes. You even tried to rationalize wearing them with your “Daisy Dukes” to brunch one morning, which needless to say was an epic fail! The shoes were tattered, battered and over worn; the heels needed new tips, the tulle was stained and the sparkle finish had become dull. The shoes needed a cobbler to bring them back to life and you needed a cobbler of sorts yourself, to bring back your own sparkle.
In much the same way your prized soles needed an intervention to bring back their vibrancy and va-va-vooom, your relationship was suddenly facing the same hurdle. You loved your guy as a friend and you love him even more, if that’s possible, as your boyfriend. You saw your life fulfilled with him by your side. However, recent events have marred the once beautiful feelings you had, leaving you feeling as worn and dull as your once flawless shoes, now in dire need of a cobbler.
He once laughed at your silly jokes and now he considered them to be mocking of him. He criticized your every move down to the minute, or so it seemed, or not. You waited eighteen minutes to speak to him after an argument because you needed time to breathe (and fold a quick load of laundry) as self therapy so that you wouldn’t say something you’d soon regret. He was suddenly jealous of all your interactions.
You had no idea what transpired to bring about this change, and frankly, it didn’t matter, as you are committed to roll up your sleeves and get down and dirty to restore the luster (aka happiness), fun and red-soled magnetism that started from that very first kiss.
Janie Davis Lane believes in aging gracefully, confidently and boldly as a single gal navigating dating in the second act. She believes that there is always room for another great love in her life, but not without a lot of first dates, second dates, romance and wonder. Janie is an author who shares dating experiences, of her own; of close friends and people she randomly meets in Boston. She enjoys telling the adventures of the capricious antics of the dating phenomenon in a fun, relatable narration. Whether meeting close friends for social drinks or just chatting with someone at the gym or coffee shop, there are countless stories to be told. Janie is after the wonderment of it all; the funny and the absurd, the racy conquests, the tears, the laughter and the lessons learned (if any.) The names and faces may change but the plot lines stay consistent. Once in awhile, interrupting these adventures, a magical Prince takes a heart away, leaving the FWB, ONS, hook-ups, pen-pals, tragic first dates, and Mr. Wrongs behind to make room for a fairytale ending.