This may be a tough one…I’m a 50 year old woman, fairly successful, own my own home and business…and while I have been told I’m pretty, I am carrying around some extra weight. Because of that last part, it seems like people always try to set me up with people that I personally do not find attractive (physically and/or mentally and/or emotionally). It’s almost as though they feel that because of my weight, I should just be happy with ANY options, like that is the best I can do. It makes me think that if my so-called friends can’t look beyond the weight to see all of the other great qualities I have to offer, how can I expect that of a stranger. Should I just “settle” and just get over my expectations of meeting someone that possesses the qualities — again physically and mentally — that I am looking for?
– Weight of the World
Dear Weight of the World –
You seem to have your life together and you sound like a great catch! THIS is why your friends are trying to fix you up. Since you are looking at your weight as a negative, you believe that your friends are as well. YOU believe that they think you should SETTLE for one of these guys. You should never settle!! I don’t believe that your friends think that you should settle either. If your friends are trying to set you up with someone that they believe is a great guy, he may actually have more to offer than his first impression may give off. Your friends may truly believe that if you did get to know him you’d like him. It seems as though you are pre-judging him, but at the same time you do not want to be pre-judged. There have been many times that I have met someone that I didn’t have an initial attraction or chemistry with but I found a connection and an attraction after I got to know him. Give some of these guys a chance to see if maybe there is something deeper than just an INSTANT physical or emotional attraction. Your friends obviously think you are great girl and would make an amazing partner or they wouldn’t be trying to fix you up. If there is an absolute deal breaker then pass him up but do give some of these guys a chance. Go with an open mind and maybe you will be pleasantly surprised.
Dear Wendy –
What’s the best way to meet someone? online, through friends, social events, etc.
Dear Ginger –
That is a great question with so many different answers. If you ask 10 different couples where they met you’d probably get 10 different answers. I don’t think there is one best way. Try them all. Don’t limit yourself to just one way. Keep your options open. Join the online dating sites but go to social events as well. Ask your friends to fix you up. Accept that party invitation. Talk to the guy in line behind you at the supermarket. You never know when you will make a connection with someone. You’ll know the best way to meet someone after you’ve met him. 😉
Wendy works as a marketing analyst for a commercial real estate firm. She is a divorced mom of two teenage daughters, who is soon to be an empty nester as her younger daughter goes off to college. After sharing all of her crazy dating experiences with her friends over the years, they have finally convinced her to write them down and share them with the world. Wendy believes one day she will find her perfect match and is enjoying the crazy ride until then.