Ask Wendy October 18, 2018

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Hi Wendy,

I have been single for over 6 years. I am 56, retired, and I cannot find a respectable gentleman. I am going out with a guy but he doesn’t want anything serious. We go out to dinner, to the movies, spend time at his house, but I need more than that. I love to travel and I am a very romantic person, but he is not. Sex is Ok. What must I do?

–  Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,  

For some people,  what you have with this man is enough. For you, it’s not, and that’s ok.  It is nice to have a companion but if he isn’t fulfilling enough of your needs, then it’s time to move on.  People don’t change.  If you are looking for him to become something else, it probably won’t happen. It’s time for you to get back out in the dating world.  Ask friends to fix you up or go online. Make sure you put exactly what you are looking for in your profile ( a serious relationship, romance, travel) You deserve more than a casual relationship and sex that is just “ok”. Ending something that you are  comfortable with isn’t easy, but it is time to move on and it’s the only way to find what you are looking for.  There is someone out there looking for the same things that you are looking for.  Get out there and find him!!! Good-luck!!

–  Wendy


Hi Wendy –

When communicating on an online date site, how long should I wait for the man to initiate a telephone call, a text or an invite to meet? With some men there seems to be endless back and forth of a few lines of communication with no push forward. Do I just x them out or should I be the one to initiate the next step?

– Tired of Waiting

Dear Tired of Waiting –

I have noticed that there are a lot of people on these sites that really don’t want to date, but just want a pen pal. It can be frustrating trying to figure out what to do. I think it’s great to write back and forth a few times to get to know someone a little better before giving out your phone number. If someone doesn’t ask you for your phone number or ask you out after the first few texts, the relationship will probably not move forward.  If you are really interested, you have nothing to lose by saying something like “ I’d love to meet for a drink or coffee. Let me know if your interested”.  Maybe he just needed a little push or maybe the timing is just off.  Either way you will have your answer. If there is no mention of meeting or talking on the phone after  this, then it’s time to move on. Keep in mind it probably has nothing to do with you.  You have no idea what is going on in his life right now and dating may not be his number one priority. Sometimes life just gets in the way. Don’t give up! Keep swiping right. It only takes one great first date to find that connection you are looking for.

–  Wendy



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