Guess what day is upon us? My most favorite day of the year: Valentine’s Day! YAY! I know…you hate it. “Hallmark made up this holiday to make people feel bad,” you grimace. I don’t care. I love it. You know why? It’s the ONE DAY that you can unabashedly tell everyone you love that you love them! And, you can have an excuse to do the following:
- Eat trays of chocolate.
- Wear trashy, lacy, bright red lingerie that you find in Spencer’s Gifts on clearance.
- Go to Victoria’s Secret and fight the mob scene of romantic hopefuls, purchasing gobs of coconut body spray.
- Buy your partner a glossy card that reads, “To My Husband” (or whatever s/he is) in cursive and fill it in with glowing reviews and promises you may or may not keep.
- Go out to dinner and order the tasting menu or the prix fixe only available on V-day.
- Declare you hate all love and never want to be in a romantic relationship again.
- Propose–on the most insane day to propose ever. Then get married a year later, on the same day, and have a heart-themed wedding, donning a pink dress. Make your bridesmaids wear red dresses.
- Dress like a tart. Halloween isn’t the only day you need an excuse.
- Dye your hair “Rocketfire Red.” (P.S. I did this. Not a great look, except on V-Day)
- Watch romantic movies, like When Harry Met Sally, and either cry or be so glad you are married to your best friend (aw, #blessed). Then tweet or post that on Facebook.
- Speaking of FB, write a letter to your spouse or significant other on it, extolling your love for them, so we all can see it and guess when you’re getting a divorce, or be totally envious, or just really happy for you.
- Spend an entire evening making custom-made Valentine’s for your kids’ classmates. Get so competitive that you shove your kid aside because she is putting the glitter glue on all wrong. You MUST have the BEST Valentines.
- Read poetry in bed to your partner, or The Canterbury Tales, despite his plea for you to stop.
- Break up because there wasn’t a solid amount of hoopla around this holiday. It just shows that you are taken for granted.
Well, there you have it. TONS of ideas for this Thursday! Get movin’. Excuses galore.
Alexandra Speck received a Bachelor of Arts degree in English Literature from Columbia University and studied Journalism at Northwestern University’s Medill Graduate School of Journalism. A former actress and comedienne at Upright Citizens Brigade in New York, Alex also wrote the popular blog Crybaby Soup.
She worked for more than four years as a reporter for WCAI, the Cape and Islands NPR Station, where she won an Edward R. Murrow Award for Writing. She is the author of the novel HONOR GIRL (2018). She grew up in Shaker Heights, Ohio and spent summers in Woods Hole. She currently resides on Cape Cod with her two children. Read more at www.alexandraspeck.blog