I am obsessed with Deal and Steals on Good Morning America. Every Thursday morning I stop what I am doing as soon as Tori Johnson says hello to me through my TV. Each week I hope that there will be some great bargain that I can order online.
Last Thursday was no exception. Tori began with a few deals that I was not interested in, and then she walked over to the “Peepers” reading glasses table. She has had this deal before and I have bought a few of these cute little readers for 50 percent of the original price. I now need multiple pairs (I am 53 and my eyesight is not what it used to be.) Neither is my memory and I tend to misplace my glasses often.
As soon as I had a moment, I looked online at the glasses they were offering. I wasn’t thrilled with the styles I saw. There was only one that I would consider buying but I didn’t bother.
Later that day, I reconsidered and went back on the site to purchase the one pair of glasses that I had thought were OK. When I clicked to buy, there was a message that said SOLD OUT.
Sold out? How can they be sold out? I hadn’t thought they were anything spectacular. I guess a lot of other people did. Suddenly, these silly little glasses were fabulous to me. I had to have them. They must look gorgeous on if they were so popular.
Thankfully, I was able to backorder them. I will not have them for weeks but I will eventually have these “must-have” glasses. Whew!
Why do we want what we can’t have? Why do things that didn’t interest us suddenly become interesting when they are wanted by others?
The glasses incident reminded me of a relationship I was in. People also tend to become more attractive to us when we cannot have them.
I had been casually dating a guy for awhile. Nice guy, attractive, we always had a good time together. But for whatever reason, I was “just not that into him.” The relationship went on casually for some time but I knew that he wanted more than I did. I didn’t think it was fair to either of us to continue so I ended things. I knew I had done the right thing.
A couple of months went by and I heard through the grapevine that he had a new girlfriend. My initial reaction was happiness for him. He really was a good guy and he deserved to be in a great relationship. End of story.
Not so fast -.through the magic of social media, I began to see pictures of the happy couple. Hmmm. She was pretty and he did look quite happy. Little by little I felt jealousy creeping in.
I reminded myself time after time that this was MY decision. It was how I had wanted things. But I was beginning to think I had made a mistake. This woman seemed to see something that I didn’t.
This feeling was amplified when I accidentally ran into him (not with her thankfully.). He looked good, he was super sweet, and I walked away confirming to myself that I had made a big mistake. So I called him and told him. His reaction was total shock. Once he realized what I was saying, his reaction was, “You only want me because someone else does.”
He wasn’t wrong. I probably never would have reconsidered our relationship if he hadn’t met someone else. He was wrong about something though – he believed that if he went back to me, I would dump him as soon as I got him. So he stayed with her. I was extremely sad.
You never know what will happen. What did happen was that he did not love this other girl. Months later, once he realized this, he and I worked things out.
This was a happy ending, but that is not how it always happens. Sometimes when you want something only because you can’t have it, you don’t get it.
I only hope I am just as happy with my glasses when they arrive.
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Stacy was a stay-at-home mom/part-time preschool teacher whose life was turned upside down in 2011 when her husband passed away suddenly of a heart attack. She is raising her two fabulous daughters, now ages 18 and 20, who are turning into wonderful young women. In 2016, she started a blog about her experience as a young widow, The Widow Wears Pink. This led her to write for other publications including Huffington Post, Today.com, Scary Mommy, Grown & Flown, Kveller, Modern Loss, Thought Catalog, and many more. In 2018 she started Living the Second Act with fellow writer Mimi Golub. Today, Stacy and her daughters are happily living their “new normal” while always keeping her husband’s spirit alive.