A year. Three hundred and sixty five days. It’s a long time and a lot can happen. For me, 2019 was a year of discovery. I learned the truth about my family after my mother died and created new bonds with relatives who were once strangers. The family I have became everything to me.  Relationships that were hurtful are now over, while others where the flame had been snuffed out by time and misunderstanding were rekindled. I learned that peace doesn’t always come at a price. Here are some of my important lessons from this past year. What are yours? Please let me know in the comments below.

1. Season One of Friends is still relevant. Want to know about friendship, support, kindness and loyalty? It is all laid out in Season One. There nothing as extraordinary watching six people maneuver relationships with such love, grace and humor. Watch it again and let me know if you feel the same.
2. Not being OK is OK. Don’t let anyone rush you out of the funk. You’ll find your way back into the light soon enough. Rushing the process causes unwanted stress. Take your time.
3. Travel heals wounds. A change of scenery can alter a bad day. Get in the car and go somewhere, even if it is only for an hour or two. Smell the pine trees, walk on a new path, view a really cool building. Instagram doesn’t do the world justice.
4. Hold on to dreams. Just because you are in the second act doesn’t mean that dreams are dead. Write them down and then say them aloud. There is still lots of time to turn a dream into a reality. I still have a novel to publish and I will do it (as my post-it note says I will.)
5. Let go of the bad karma. Just let go of the people who have wounded you and the things that you cannot control. I always try to hold on even when there is damage because I fear the loss. This year, however, I realized that the loss is forgotten quickly and my time is freed up to spend on positive things.
6. Be thankful for friends who are in the marathon. The ones that matter stick around. Tell them what an amazing job they are doing keeping you glued together. Without my friends this year, I would have been very lost.
7. Go to that funeral or wedding. Show up for someone you love when they need you most. You won’t get a second chance. (Editor’s note: my husband has been saying this for decades but it just took me time to get there.)
8. It’s not about you. Really, it’s not. Pause before you respond because 99 percent of the time what is happening is because someone else is in a funky spot. Have empathy for the person who is causing the drama, because he or she is suffering through their own battle.
9. There is no substitute for carbs. Sucks to be a menopausal woman who loves carbs when all the advice says stay away. If that bagel brings you joy (health problems aside) just schmear it with cream cheese and smile while devouring it.
10. Holding a baby equals superpowers. For many in the second act, kids are grown and flown. Make friends with someone who has a baby. Place the baby in your arms, smell their shampooed little head and let them wrap fingers around yours.  Marvel at wonders of a life yet to be lived.
11. Don’t give up. It’s easy to want to crawl back into bed for eternity after all of life’s curveballs. Feeling sad, miserable, defeated, etc., are things we can all relate to at some point. Time, however is ticking away. If you love your family and friends, don’t give up on them and don’t give up on yourself. Your light is needed in this world.

Mimi Golub

Mimi L. Golub is the Co-Founder and Co-Editor of Living the Second Act, an online magazine for women in their 40s and 50s who are seeking the truth. Mimi has written for numerous publications including The Huffington Post. She is the author of the someday-to-be-published novel, Boxed In. Mimi is also the writer and a staff editor of From Our Kitchens, a nonprofit cookbook that was released in 2018. In her spare time, Mimi loves to workout, drink tequila, and volunteer with many local causes. She lives in Newton, MA, with her husband and has twin girls who have left the nest. You can find her former work on: tequilainbed.com

Follow Mimi on Twitter @mimigolub