There are millions of thoughts that go through the head of a parent after losing a spouse.  They do change over time and as our kids grow.

These are just 30 of my thoughts from a solo parent.

1. How the hell am I going to do this???
2. If my husband were here, we would figure this out together..
3. I have no one to help me make a decision.
4. I am going to completely screw up my kids by myself.
5. This is exhausting.
6. I just made a major decision on my own. Was it the right one?
7. Wow, that was a really good call.
8. Ugh that was totally the wrong way to go.
9. My child is having major issues. How can I handle this?
10. Friends and family can offer really good advice.
11. Sometimes friends and family can get on my nerves.
12. Nobody understands.
13. I found the right help for my child. I can breathe for a moment.
14. Not so fast…the other one is struggling now.
15. I now have some experience in seeking help. It is easier to find this time.
16. A milestone event is coming. I wish he was here for it.
17. We will always wish he was here for happy events but we managed to celebrate.
18.  My child had to make a huge decision and made the wrong one. It’s my fault.
19. I was able to help correct the decision. We both feel a little better.
20. This is still exhausting.
21. I feel guilty not going, but I really do not want to go to this event alone.
22. Well that sucked.
23. I cannot believe (however many) years have gone by.
24. My children always have someone missing in their lives.
25. I am a good mom, but is it enough?
26. It will never be enough but we are doing pretty well.
27. My children seem stronger than most.
28. My children are more jaded than most.
29. I have a very special relationship with my kids. We have been through a lot together.
30. My children are living their dreams.
31. He would be so proud of them.

My daughters and I now have a podcast!!

Stacy Feintuch

Stacy was a stay-at-home mom/part-time preschool teacher whose life was turned upside down in 2011 when her husband passed away suddenly of a heart attack.  She is raising her two fabulous daughters, who are turning into wonderful young women.  In 2016, she started a blog about her experience as a young widow, The Widow Wears Pink. This led her to write for other publications including Huffington Post, Today.com, Scary Mommy, Grown & Flown, Kveller, Modern Loss, Thought Catalog, and many more. In 2018 she started Living the Second Act with fellow writer Mimi Golub. Today, Stacy and her daughters  are happily living their “new normal” while always keeping her husband’s spirit alive.