And Just Like That, the Sex and the City reboot has become extremely controversial. Two episodes in and everyone is commenting on, or arguing about, everything we can think of. From the women’s looks (not ok), to Peloton bikes, to Steve’s hearing loss, every detail seems to be under scrutiny.
The one subject that hits very close to home for me is Big’s heart attack.
And Just Like That…Ten Years Ago, My Husband Had a Heart Attack in our Home and Died
Just like Big. So I do have some feelings on the subject. There has been a ton of criticism on how Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) reacted to finding her husband on the floor of their bathroom. Did I do what Carrie did? No I did not. I immediately called 911. I could see that my husband was still breathing so I believed he could be saved.
While watching this shocking scene, the thought in my head was that she would grab for her phone and call for an ambulance. But then I noticed how Big looked at Carrie. It was as if he waited for her and then he died. My thought was that she knew he was gone so only clung to him.
Should she still have dialed 911? Maybe. But having been in that moment, I can tell you that you are not thinking clearly. Your mind and body go into shock and it is so very hard to react. Nothing seems real. Because although it is, it can’t be real.
And Just Like That…We Grieve
There has been much criticism about the way that Carrie, Miranda Hobbs (Cynthia Nixon), Charlotte York (Kristin Davis) and the rest of the characters on And Just Like That reacted to Big’s death.
I will start by saying this. There is no “right way” to grieve and no two people will ever do it the same.
I have seen comments on how we did not see Carrie cry. And Just Like Carrie…I did not cry. For a long time. Not planning the funeral and not at the funeral. I did find myself crying on the bathroom floor days later where no one could hear me.
I felt that Carrie not crying was one of the most valid reactions in the second episode. My therapist explained to me that some people do not cry because their minds are in shock and they have not fully taken in what has happened. I love how they portrayed Carrie that way.
As for the other characters, who are her nearest and dearest friends, they are all dong the best that they can under the circumstances. I felt both Charlotte’s and Carrie’s guilt over what happened. “If only I hadn’t…”, “If I had done this…”, “If I said this…”. We all think that way because we cannot help but think this way. I will forever rewind that day in my head and wish I had played it differently from the moment I woke up. There is forever guilt, but eventually we come to terms with the fact that we can’t turn back time, even as hard as we wish we could.
I Will Keep Watching
With everyone attacking everything about And Just Like That, there is judgement for those who enjoyed it. I can admit it – I liked it. Carrie, Miranda and Charlotte are like home for me (although I do miss Samantha). These characters represent a special time in my life.
Yes they have aged, don’t we all? But I am happy to see where they are in life and how they are handling the world in their 50’s, because I am doing the same. I am looking forward to seeing how Carrie now navigates life as a widow because I can relate to it.
So tonight, my friend who also admits to enjoying And Just Like That, will be coming to my house. We will sit on my couch with a glass of wine to see how our, now older, Sex and the City friends will move forward. I can’t wait.
Stacy was a stay-at-home mom/part-time preschool teacher whose life was turned upside down in 2011 when her husband passed away suddenly of a heart attack. She is raising her two fabulous daughters, who are turning into wonderful young women. In 2016, she started a blog about her experience as a young widow, The Widow Wears Pink. This led her to write for other publications including Huffington Post, Today.com, Scary Mommy, Grown & Flown, Kveller, Modern Loss, Thought Catalog, and many more. In 2018 she started Living the Second Act with fellow writer Mimi Golub. Today, Stacy and her daughters are happily living their “new normal” while always keeping her husband’s spirit alive.
