Obviously I always thought Howie should be there. I felt terrible that he was missing out on what would have been such a fun and happy time in our lives.
Author Stacy Feintuch
How can I make a Bat Mitzvah and have a celebration like that without Howie? How can I sit through the service without him? I really didn’t know if it was possible for me to do this so soon.
I have had summers with these old friends when all is good in my life, and I have had summers when life has been at it’s worse. But no matter what, I always smile and laugh when we are together. It has been good for me.
Before I could stop myself, the words “Lily, would you like a dog?” came out of my mouth. When she screamed “Yes!!”, I thought “Oh no, what did I just get myself into?”
I got on the phone with him and just hearing his voice made me feel a little better. It was like talking to my past when life was simple and we were high school sweethearts.
How bad can bad get? When your husband dies and 17 days later you lose power for almost a week, it’s pretty damn bad. These were the worst days.
Little by little I started to not even ask what was going on concerning finances.
I knew that he was taking care of things.
I felt like I wasn’t really there, that this wasn’t really happening. Logically, I knew it was but it felt almost as if I was watching a bad movie that I was starring in.
How do I begin this widow blog?
Since I am the biggest fan of “The Sound of Music”, Julie Andrews is in my head singing “let’s start at the very beginning…” so that’s what I will do. Although I guess this could be considered both a beginning and an end…